Your Life - Love It - Live

INTRO - WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

My name is Tristan Gibbons. This trauma begins in Middelburg East Cape, South Africa. Will be writing as Churn. A childhood nickname. Why? In order to reflect upon the horrendous, requires looking upon the happenings as a spectator from the outside, could not believe what I was witnessing, LIVING... Sometimes I will write in the 1st person, sometimes as a spectator. When you are traumatized, that's how life is. A 3rd person in numb bewilderment. Looking upon your life in bewildered disbelief.

There are not 'two sides' to this story. That's what the dishonest will claim to obscure their disgusting behavior.

There are not 'three sides' - what you think happened, what I think happened, what actually happened. That's for lawyers and politicians to practice their craft of deceit. Only one what actually happened. Something either happened or it didn't. No if or maybe or oh but...

There's only one story. One truth. And it is traumatic! A trauma needing exposure, examination - and rest.

It's dangerous exposing identities online, including your own. Opens an invitation to malice and ridicule. Problem is, this what I write about is so bizarre, by changing names would seem too unreal, too unbelievable. Churn writes what he has witnessed, been appalled by. What Tristan experienced, cried, LIVED, and sadly watched die. More importantly to some degree has learned to live with...

To a vile Brother - Brent Gibbons, who do you think you are? Bullying, thieving, vandalizing, stealing, insulting, assaulting, threatening, hitting, the foul mouth fraudster. JEOLOUSY...

To his greedy racist wife - Wilemien, who do you think you are? Foul mouth, dishonest, immoral, ungrateful, boastful - sad GREED...

Churn could not understand this union, except that like attracts like and once they entered their disgusting echo chamber their behavior became a reflection of their mindsets and attitudes. To say Satan wasn't present is delusional. Their words, deeds & disgusting behavior were/are driven by something from within - something evil? Whatever it is, isn't normal?

To a devouring mother - Antoinette, who do you think you are? Poison. In both thought and deed. Who allows such trauma...? PRIDE...

To Dad - Ted, who do you think you are? I understand your pain now. But the everlasting trauma you left... DISPAIR...

To Kay Donian aka 'die winter muskiet', who do you think you are? I understand your and my father's sister's problem with my mother. But the way you bob around in church yet were driven by a disgusting blood lust to try fuck up my life for your insatiable malice and greed... HYPOCRISY...

The biggest enemies of Jesus are the religious hypocrites. They're the biggest enemies of decency.

To your daughter, my cousin Lynette, who do you think you are? Along with all the other 'Ooms & Tannies' & Christo Stadtrils that couldn't help themselves, just had to fan the flames of malicious gossip & innuendo. GOSSIP...

Tristan endured a high court murder trial. Slapped across newspapers & magazines by journalists who had never met him yet wrote as if they personally know... And when it ended, I confronted the Middelburg magistrate asking about why wasn't there an inquest? She confided "We did have an inquest. But the police lied during the inquest. Unknown to me at the time. Because of the vicious rumors flying around and in order to clear the air, I decided to send the matter to high court for trial". Understandable. Pause and let that sink in...

All that - for police lies. Stuck in an Ego'd echo chamber obsessed with "doing this one properly". And sad gossiping rumor mongers.

Why did they lie? All the pressure put on them by certain individuals in the community. Kay Donian in particular. Yours truly squeezed that confession out of them in high court - from the witness stand. Having an angry judge questioning them directly...

To the many Middelburg police, who do you think you are? Who not just months, but years afterwards would sidle up to me at the oddest places, like a stock fair, 'Kooperasie', in the street, pub or filling station (garage in SA) and inevitably the words would be the same: "nothing personal, we were just doing our jobs".

"Just doing your jobs"?? Lying to a magistrate during a 'murder' inquest "just doing your jobs"? I would stay silent. Witnessing them in their delusional echo chamber firsthand. Thank God South Africa still had an independent judiciary. The whole state engine of 'justice' grinding against a 21-year-old - "just doing their jobs" lying to a magistrate. Harassing, intimidating, insulting, belittling - justifying their behavior... physically pushing and shoving me around trying to get a reaction, threatening - How many times was informed "maybe we should take you for a 'draave'" - "just doing your jobs"...? Slapping our staff around calling them 'lying kaffirs' "just doing your jobs"? If you need an exact translation "jy lieg jou kaffir" with accompanying foot stomp. SICK PREDUDICED MENTALITY... Police material? 'Protect and serve'? Stop smoking yourself to dreamland...

Yet all of that was a mere curtain raiser for the trauma to come - at the hands and foul mouth of my own brother...

Lying 'experts' - state courtroom hitmen, who do you think you are?

Fritz & Isak Labuscagne of Dewetsdorp - who do you think you are? Opportunistic stock thieves, stealing, justifying disgusting behavior, death threats, gloating, foul mouthed, racist. Despicable. DISHONESTY...

These motherfuckers must wear their hats proudly. Maybe pray for healing. Their mugs can be viewed on who's vile page @ viewthevile.com

Don't want to corrupt a site dedicated to healing & helping people with ways of improving themselves with their disgusting 'gevreets'...

Reflecting NOW upon these individuals' behavior, Am I angry? no. Am I sad? yes. Am I thankful? surprisingly yes. Why? Part of healing is learning to view the world differently. A negative mindset will not allow you to lead a positive life. Every day & throughout the day focus and refocus on the positive. It wasn't always so. Churn very nearly killed himself only a few years ago. The relief of suicide was more welcoming than living with the pain and memories.

Without being a victim of the most horrendous behavior, Churn would not be motivated to write. You wouldn't be reading this. Would not have used futures as mental escape. Would not be living where he is now. With the precious family he has, in the beautiful country.

More importantly, not learned that there is a higher power than us. Going through life with an ever increasingly popular atheistic mindset of being your own little god is ignorance personified. Our lives are short. Free to be happy or sad, generous & helpful or mean & miserly one day, dead the next. Represented as a hyphen or dash on a gravestone between two dates.

Read about the trauma. Be disgusted by it. Maybe entertained? Maybe learn to live your dash in a more positive way? Your memories are the only thing going with you to the afterlife? Do you want them to be Despair? Anger? Resentment? Nastiness? Envy? Meanness? Hatred? Or Happiness, Kindness, Love, Generosity? What will your legacy be? Will you be proud of your deceit & dishonesty? Will your family be proud? Greed and malice? Who cares, you'll be dead? Yeah? Maybe just conceited if you think you get away with your vile behavior? Being exposed, not so cool? Accountability sucks? Try Justice...

There's an old Western (My Name Is Nobody) where Terrance Hill does debatably one of the most iconic slap scenes ever. As we examine the behavior of these individuals who have contributed to this trauma, so great I have come close to ending my life twice - let us remember that scene. They need slaps like these. Let their behavior not be forgotten or dismissed.

There's a message in that movie, one that involves a little bird...

I wouldn't be writing this if there wasn't similar singing by my own family...

And a quote from same movie "A man who's a man, needs someone to believe in"...

The demonic is real in this world. Capturing my family, Churn witnessed it undiluted. Even directly experienced the demonic - pulsing, enticing, justifying... There is only one path to healing. It is not psychologists, psychiatrists, pills or potions.

T.G - Churn

Some Fuckers need Justice - For Healing we sometimes merely need Accountability...

FRAUD

BULLYING & ASSAULT

STEALING

GREED!

MURDER

ATTEMPTED MURDER

MURDER TRIAL

- All separate :(

Couldn't make this shit up if you tried...

LYING POLICE

DEATH THREATS - The never-ending tirade of death threats

SUICIDE & SUICIDE - SEWERAGEPIPE...

DEVOURING MOTHER

LYING 'EXPERTS' - STATE HITMEN?

POLICE HARASSMENT! OOHA - The G G G - GOSSIP!

DISGUSTING BEHAVIOR!

"Maar 'n kaffir bly 'n kaffir" - WHAT?

Yes, you read that correctly. Not muttered in hushed tone, but exclaimed loudly, proudly - though we're going to make sure not anymore, and deliberately...

Opportunistic theft...

'Lekkerkry' Thrills & Joy at Hurting others...

SPITE! & NASTINESS!

'Ooms & Tannies' Gossiping & GLOATING over the hardships of others like a cackle of gleeful hyenas - sad pieces of shit...

& THE SICK MENTALITY THAT SWAGGERS THROUGH LIFE THINKING THAT'S NORMAL & COOL...

VANDALISM...

Sheep theft...

Livelihood theft...

EGO

TRAUMA!

SOME OF THE WORDS ORIGINATING FROM TRANSCENDENCE -

- MORE IMPORTANTLY - HOW TO HEAL FROM THAT HELL...

HOW TO SLAP A SMILE ON YOUR FACE, RE-FOCUS & LEARN TO LIVE AGAIN

BUT OH THE PAIN AS THE NUMBNESS THAW...

MORE RACISM...

DEPRESSION - NUMB, feelings, emotions, pain - NUMB...

No more panic attacks - just numb...

SELF-RIGHTEOUS - Oh the sickening sanctimonious

Narcissists love religion...

GREED!

GREED!

RACIST POLICE? Racist ideology?

"Jy lieg jou kaffir"...

FOKKEN SOUTIE!!

FOKKEN SOUT PIEL!

FOKKEN ROOINEK...

DISPAIR

PLAASMOORD

FARM MURDERS

'Vaar gat daai fokken Soutie nou!?' Shouts a disgusting policeman as I walk out the police station after being threatened "we're going to take you for a draav hey! If you don't tell us naw what happened - we're going to take you for a DRAAIF!'

THREATS-xxxx

EGO!

TRAUMA! - So severe that the numbness ends the panic attacks...

Panic attacks - Shoot Da Fucker...

EGO

'Are you thick or something?'

Allegedly? - I detest that word. Lawyers & journalists love it. Allows people to insinuate the disgusting with impunity. Whenever the local newspapers were light on news, would write articles about the progress of the investigation inevitably quoting an anonymous source from the police - allegedly. Reading the articles one thinks - lock him up & throw away the key... But it's you they're writing about - and you're already numb from the trauma...

GREED!

My Brother married that disgusting piece of shit - And you wonder why he was murdered?

I sacrificed so the children of said greedy, thieving racist would be well provided for. Yet the attitudes have not changed. Time to hold this Wilemien accountable...

FOUL - IN THOUGHT, WORD AND DEED...

When dealing with the demonic, or psychopathic - if we tell people what they want to hear, we're sacrificing them. When we tell people what they need to hear, we're sacrificing ourselves.

Especially with family - the harsh truth is more loving than the sweet lie. Do I care what's best for them over what they think of me? Yeah - Maybe. You the reader can decide...